Twas but a couple days ago somebody said, “Hey Jayc, you should go visit San Diego and drink their coffee!” So the next day I got on a plane to San Diego and was in another Not-Portland – this version, however, was essentially a Larger, Generally Balmy, Tropical, and Questionable Portland… Or LGBTQP. Yeah, I just pulled that off and as a result that’s going to be our theme for this review. Pretty damn impressive if I do say so myself. Anyway, the LGBTQP community (San Diego) isn’t really known as a coffee hub in the US – which is fine because they have parks, museums, an Ocean, Mexico, and WAY more hot people than Portland. And even if all that doesn’t do it for you; they have a massive archery range right next to a busy freeway with absolutely no safety mechanisms preventing you from firing arrows into traffic (see Balboa Park). The point is there is a host of delightful of reasons to enjoy the LGBTQP community.
I kid you not, that’s the name of the coffee shop. Seriously “Simple Local Coffee” – that’s it. I usually try and turn the name of the coffee shop I’m reviewing into some sort of joke, but for this I just marvel at the use of obvious language. Why not start a coffee shop called “Coffee Shop Located in Close Proximity to Other Businesses” or “We Serve Beverages”? I guess, to be fair, Simple Local Coffee has a vastly superior adjective-to-noun ratio in their name. So future rival coffee shop owners take heed: name you place “Complex Multinational Coffee”. Also because I can’t resist: Simple Local Coffee forms the acronym SLC, which looks like the word Slick – we’ll roll with that as our theme for the remainder of this review.
My mother and I rarely exchange Christmas gifts, but this (past) year I noticed that I had an old Breville BCG800XL (“Smart Grinder”) laying around. Well my dear sweet mother had somehow lit what she called a coffee grinder (basically an old blender) on fire so I figured: why not drop the little Breville off with her for the holidays?
All this got me to thinking about coffee grinders at home. I’ve read an absurd amount of blogs and little articles in various magazines for what the “Best Home Grinder” is and so forth – frankly I’m not all that impressed with the information. Therefore, what I’m going to do in this write-up is twofold: (1) distill some of the more basic info down for you so you don’t have to go through the tedious process of reading all the blogs, watching YouTube videos, etc. and (2) I’ll give you some fine advice on what to get grinder wise since, honestly, it’s pretty damn cut and dry.
I had a conference to attend in Coeur d’… We’ll just call it “Not-Portland”. So I had a conference to attend in Not-Portland and decided I would take a page out Ryan’s book and check out a few coffee places to review whilst there. Expectations were fairly low to be frank. A somewhat ponderous encounter with a local Macy’s employee concluded with her asking: “Ya’ll got a Macy’s out there in Oregon?”. Needless to say there was little to suggest artisan coffee is (or should be) a primary concern for the people of Not-Portland. Continue reading “Travel Review: Coeur d’Alene – Where the French Press likely went to die”
The college academic year has begun – a time of learning, exploring strange new words, seeking out new life and new civilizations, boldly going… to class. Well guess what junior – college isn’t for any of that crap. It’s for banging hot people and drinking coffee; not necessarily in that order.
Now in this case maybe you’re a Portland State University student or just a random person wandering the hybridized sprawl that is Downtown Portland and PSU Campus. It’s inevitable that two things will occur: (1) you’ll be in a position where traffic is so bad you may as well park somewhere and get a cup of coffee OR (2) you just want a cup of coffee. Continue reading “Review: Ole Latte; in English: “We approve of milky coffee””
When I read Barista Magazine’s select few articles on women in coffee roasting (http://baristamagazine.com/blog/category/people-in-coffee/women-in-coffee) I thought to myself two things: (1) Hey! Why isn’t Joey Gleason, the owner of Marigold listed, and (2) Wait a minute! Representation is one thing, but isn’t it just as sexist to celebrate women roasters by first focusing on the fact that they are women rather than the fact that they’re roasters? Maybe its just me, but I’d rather be celebrated for my skills, talents, and abilities that I worked at rather than the fact that I was born with a penis and, coincidentally, happen to have skills… So, as a demonstration of my reviewer skills, in contrast to Barista Magazine’s poorly thought-out premise: I offer unto you, sweet reader, a celebration of Marigold Coffee – the creation of Joey Gleason, her team, and their talents and abilities.
Hello class, I’m Dr. Izsó – today we’re going to talk about Kahveology. First, does anyone know what Kahveology is? No one? That’s okay, I’ll provide you with a quick definition and then we’ll get rolling: Kahveology; noun, the art of making an espresso better than sex. Class dismissed.
Seriously, they’re that good, like possibly best-in-Portland good… but we’ll get to that. Continue reading “Review: Kahveology 103: Advanced Coffee Techniques”